Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy Independence Day!

Happy Independence Day everyone! Not only is Independence Day an awesome movie--one of Will Smith's greatest in my opinion--but its the Day that the Continental Congress signed the Declaration of

Independence (a little history factoid: the Declaration of Independence was actually proposed to the Congress on the 1st of July but in true congressional fashion it sat around for three days while the representatives procrastinated and debated. Some things never change). Even though America might be the land of the free, I think a lot of people in America and around the world for that matter are still living under the despotic rule of a pretty horrendous King. No, I am NOT talking about Barack Obama--I leave politics out of my blog as much as possible--I am referring to the mental despot that is dictating our lives.

For me, this was King ED. To put it bluntly, Ed was and still is an asshole. He was overpowering, self centered, and obnoxious. He dictated everything that I did from what I ate, how much I exercised, whom I hung out with, even what thoughts I "should" and "should not" have. Like other dictators too, he filled me with lies about grandeur and how great his leadership was. In true dictator fashion, he was obsessed with numbers. If the numbers were good, then he wanted more. If they were bad, then lord help those in his wrath. Whenever I questioned him, he would tell me that I was better off under his rule than the alternative and much better than where I was before his "leadership."

I lived under King Ed's fascist regime for about 8 years until like the Founding Fathers decided that I had out grown him. I had enough of his lies and manipulations, so I revolted and submitted this Declaration of Independence to him.
Dear King Ed,
You are a jerk. I have had enough of your lies, mental taxation without representation, and rule. You have done nothing for my well being. In fact, I think you have brought down my well being since taking control. You say that I am better off with you than without, but I disagree. You have brought me nothing but misery, limiting my ability to grow, explore, and overall be happy. Consequently, from this point on, I am declaring myself free from your tyrannical rule.
It is far from the artful prose of Thomas Jefferson, but it got the point across. We have been at war ever since. He has a few mental sympathizers still lurking in the deep crevices of my mind, who occasionally try to wrestle power away from me and my new government. Thanks to my "minute men" I have been able to fight them off for the most part.

If you haven't  guess I am of course talking about eating disorders, but mental tyranny exists everywhere. Regardless of whether it has a become a disorder or not, we all struggle with some form of captivity be it a substance, habit, social pressure, or fear. Today, I encourage you to write your own declaration of independence, overthrow that tyrant, and set up your own free mental society. This is America, damn it, and we, as cognoscente humans, have the freedom to do it but thats just my two watts.

A footnote about the Fourth of July to those not in the know:
America did not become "A-MEHR-ica" till recently. In fact, the more patriotic you are the less syllables America has. Usually, in true American fashion, we mark today with parades, cookouts, and fireworks. After all there is nothing more American than long lines of expensive cars (an American invention) with beautiful people riding in them, grilled processed meat from industrialized food plants (another American invention) washed down with Budweiser, the "king" (another tyrant if you ask me) of American beers, and blowing shit up in the sky (we did not invent fireworks. Those were (and are) still made in China, like 90% of American goods including those American flags and t-shirts you see everywhere). Anyway, have a great fourth of July.

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