Bring It On!

"Where were you Gandalf?"

"Looking ahead"
"And what brought you back just in time?"
"Looking behind"

Alright, I just scored some serious nerd points on that "Hobbit" reference, but since today is New Year's day, I think invoking Tolkien and doing exactly what Gandalf does is a good way to start 2014. Thus, like every other blogger and her training partner, I am reflecting back on 2013 and thinking about 2014. Hopefully this post will be a bit different from the rest and you actually find something in here to take away and improve your 2014. If not, hopefully I have not wasted too much of the year for you. You could say that this post is more for my mental benefit than yours, but read on if you wish. You may pick up a few thing to help you with your goals.

2013: 

"Looking at the world through my rearview

Searching for an answer up high

Or is it all wasted time?" B.o.B "Just a Sign" 

Honestly, 2013 was certainly not wasted and was an interesting year for me to say the least. The best way to describe it would be a "developmental year." Personally, I went through a great deal, none of which I really expected on January 1st 2013. First of all, I had no idea I would move to Arizona or become a teacher. Those two were controlled entirely by fate (or for you Latin and theologians out there, "fortuna"), and I am awfully glad she dealt me a good card. I love my new life in the warm and sunny climate of the South West, and even though the toils are much and fruits few (another geeky Latin reference), life has progressed pretty well.

2013 has also been a developmental year in my triathlon training. I had some good races (Galveston and Syracuse) and load more duds (Knoxville, Quassy, and Vegas). When one changes professions and moves cross country, it is only to be expected that you cannot train as consistently or as well as you would like. With that said, I would say I am fitter than I ever have been. I am up five pounds of muscle while maintaining 5% body fat, increased my FTP by 20 watts, took 20 seconds off my 100m swim interval, and still can do a decent mile. Touch wood I am injury free too. My health score and gut health seem to be good, and my hormones seem to have adjusted well to the new stresses of life and increased training. I think my greatest health achievement of 2013 was finally getting off the juice (i.e. Diet soda) and the white stuff (artificial sweetener). I still have cravings but am looking forward to remaining clean in 2014.

I loved being a member of the Wattie Inc. team and partnering with Amrita Bars in 2013 and thankfully will continue these relationships moving forward into 2014.



2014:

"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."

Thomas Jefferson 

2014 also looks to be an interesting developmental year. I am aging up to the 25-29 age group, which will bring a lot of new challenges and competition. Welcome to the big leagues, junior! It looks like 2014 is going to be full of 3:00am swims, post work trainer rides, foam roller dates (the only dates I seem to be able to get these days), all day Saturday adventures, and Sunday Fundays. With the stress of teaching and aging up, I am only doing two races, Eagleman and IM Boulder, which will be my first full Ironman. However, both of these races bring the opportunity for Kona qualification. I know that this is a long long shot, but who knows. If Kim Cardashian can get married to Kanye West, who knows what could happen! To all those doubting demons in my head: "BRING IT ON!"

Health wise, I am going to continue to tweak my diet by increasing my plant consumption and becoming more metabolically efficient. As far as my weight, I will let my training, fitness, and racing dictate that. If I gain weight but am faster, then the number does not matter. What I refuse to do in 2014 is to cut calories that is soooo 2008.

I am also now going to be coaching in 2014. I recently became a certified Beach Body coach. This will be a topic of future posts of course, but as much of a gimmick as Beach Body, P90x 1-3, Insanity, and the like are, I believe that I can through these programs (of course they need some modifications) help triathletes and anyone else who wants to improve their body and fitness. If you are interested let me know, I will be more than happy to talk to you about how it can help you. If not, I will not try to sell it or convince you otherwise. Later on in 2014, I am also going to be launching a regular coaching program for a select few but that is down the road. For now let me leave you with this:

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

~Buddha~ 

The Health Nut and Triathlete's Guide to the Ins and Outs of 2013 and2014

Every New Years Day, the Washington Post Style section posts an "In/Out" list that examines the trends in 2013 and 2014 to see what is hot and what is not. Since they like to focus on clothing and fashion, there is not much about health, fitness, triathlons, food, or "nerdom" on the list, so most of what they list escapes me. I have no idea what they are talking about the majority of the time.

With that said, I decided to do my own take on this on things I noticed in 2013 and what may or may not continue in 2014. I collected these using the best non-scientific and statistical research out there which is highly unreliable with a large margin of error.  With that said, please feel free to comment on anything I missed or exaggerated:

• Justin Bieber hit his high (or lowest) point in 2013 and now has recently decided to retire only to be replaced by One Direction. I will not comment on whether this is good or bad, but let me just say I am out of tissues currently in my house. 
• Built up shoes: despite the push to go minimalist, which started in around 2011 and is not dead yet, the advent of Hoka running shoes shows a swing back to the running shoe companies. Maybe we were "born to run" in shoes afterall. Neither shoe trend is for me but they have gotten popular.
• Paleo, HFLC, and Ketogenic diets: High carb diets definitely died in 2013 to be replaced with high fat, low carb diets. Atkins seems to have been reincarnated into a triathlete. think this will only continue to gain popularity in 2014. What is needed in 2014 though is some research beyond anecdotes that shows its efficacy or lack there of in elite athletes in particular younger ones. Joe Friel says he is a convert when it comes to health but what about speed.
• Cleanses: Speaking of diet, I am seeing more and more people do a 30 day cleanse or detox diet. I think I will stick with veggies and the sweet tones of Michael Bolton to cleanse my body and soul.
• UCAN, Bonk Breaker, Amrita bars, Energy bits and more "natural" fuels: The original Powerbar which had the consistency of laffy taffy but the taste of an awesome chocolate bar has seemed to have died. One redeeming factor of these was that they stuck perfectly to your bike without the need of duct tape. Over the course of this year though Powerbar has released a new natural energy blend product that is part gel, part fruit. In my opinion, this is only a sign of the changing times of people looking for more natural forms of energy. Similarly, companies like Bonk Breaker and Amrita bars are offering great gluten and sometimes grain free products. Generation UCAN also seems to be gaining traction as people turn away from traditional carbs. 

• Bulletproof coffee: This maybe just a trend but it definitely is a popular in the endurance community. I may drink a cup in 2014 and run through Anacostia or downtown Phoenix just to see if it works better than Kevlar. Honestly, I still like my coffee like I like my woman: tall, strong, and blonde with no need for artificial sweetness
• "Bio-Hacking:" Along the same lines as the above, more people are looking into nifty shortcuts to improve their health and fitness. Whether its cold thermogenesis, genome sequencing, electro pulse stimulation, or intermittent fasting people are definitely going to extremes to gain every last advantage. I will stick to hard work and sweat  
• Heart Rate Variability: Even though Phil Maffetone talked about it many years ago in his "Big Book of Endurance," with the advent of apps like Sweetbeat HRV has gained traction. While I definitely see the value of it, I am not sure I am willing to take the plunge and base whether I workout or not solely on a number. To some extent, there is value in pushing through fatigue some days. (Note: repeatedly pushing through fatigue day after day is not smart, which is when I like to use  HRV to prevent chronic stress.) 
• Tailless aero helmets: the old sperm helmet seems to be dying a slow death as a tailless aero helmet seems to be taking its place.
  
• Ultras: whether it is ultra runs (like 26.2 was not enough) or multi day Ironmans, people are going longer and longer (and slower). I am not ready to make the jump till I have maxed out my speed in an Ironman
• Spartan races, mud runs, color runs, zombie runs i.e. long, adult parades that you pay to get into: These are just not my style, but if they are for you, then enjoy! They seem to be gaining popularity and more races are popping up. Just based on the number of selfies posted on Facebook and Twitter of people at these events, people seem to love them; at least it's something active, fun and constructive.  
  
• "God Damn Independents" (If you went to Sewanee you will get that joke): Indies have grown in force and are reproducing like rabbits. Dare I say this has reached epidemic proportions. There are just too many twenty-somethings riding fixed geared bikes of clashing outlandish colors, with odd but perfectly manicured facial hair, Ray Bands frames without the lenses, skinny jeans, and Good Will sweaters pulling up to Starbucks to work on their "thesis"/"book"/ "blog" on Apple computers and listen to indie bands on their beats by Dre head phones. Ooops I just described my life.   
• Duck Dynasty: never heard of it till the most recent scandal, but apparently it was big so I will include it. Regardless of whether you support what he said or not, you have to give him props for his ability to grow that beard. If only I had that skill. 

Based on what 2013 dished out 2014 looks to be even more interesting.

Did I forget anything? 

The weight of weight

I weigh myself daily. Why? I am not exactly sure. I have done so for the past 10 years. I remember when my grandmother passed away, my mother asked me what I would like from her house. I immediately said, "Her scale." You can see a) where and from which genes I got my obsession and b) how obsessed I was from an early age with body image. 

Currently I have a pretty high tech scale that spits out my weight, body fat percentage, hydration, muscle mass, and most likely my horoscope and the odds on the Redskins' game (that last one is easy since they always lose). At this point in my recovery it's a force of habit rather than an actual need. 

It fluctuates more than the stock market 

What is different now from when I was struggling with my ED is that while I still weigh myself, I make sure that the numbers do not affect my mood, actions, or thoughts.  After all, they are just numbers and, in reality, how your body is interacting with gravity on that day.

People, doctors, health care "professionals," and insurance companies obsess about weight and the number on the scale, and for understandable reasons. There is a strong correlation between health and weight, but honestly, one's weight is just one piece of the health jigsaw puzzle. The number leaves a lot out. It does not show body fat percentage, which is a better indicator of health, gut health, mental well being, muscle mass, or, most importantly, psychological peace. 

What I am currently struggling with is what weight is the best for me? While I am heavier now than I have ever been, I am also healthier and happier, which are definitely important. I am not sure though whether I am faster now than I was. Moreover, will I be faster at an even heavier weight? (I have no idea honestly but would love to hear your thoughts)

The best weight is the weight that optimizes your well being both mentally and physically. The same applies to race weight--the weight at which you perform best. If you are too light, you will fade too quickly and if you do finish then you cannot recover as quickly to race again. If you weigh too much (both fat and muscle), though, the extra pounds will slow you down. 

Weight also affects psychological health. If your weight is too low OR too high (interestingly both sides of the bell curve have similar symptoms), you will feel miserable, tired, cranky, etc. 

The number can be approximated by matching it with power to weight ratio numbers and body composition numbers. However, the only way to know your race weight is to experiment with different weights and find the one at which you race the fastest and recover equally well.

All of the numbers though mean NOTHING if you do not have the psyche to back it up. I could be at my "ideal" weight with ideal power numbers and ideal body composition, but if my mind, drive and motivation are not there, then it is meaningless. Those things out weigh any numbers from the scale....but that's just my two watts...

My Jewish Grandma

I think I have either Catholic or Jewish genes somewhere in my genome because I have a huge guilt complex especially when it comes to food and training.

If I eat a food I "should not" indulge in or skip a workout that I know I "should do," then I feel guilty. It does not stop there though. I continue to beat myself up sometimes for hours (maybe even days) after.

"Why the Hell did you eat that, Chris? Now you are going to get fat and slow..."

"You know, Chris. You should have really done that workout. Now you going to get fat and slow..."

Sound familiar? That little Jewish grandmother in my head has quite a critical eye.

I have to admit that my Bubbe is a pretty good inhibitor. Whenever I feel like I should reach for that doughnut in the teachers' lounge or that diet coke, my sweet little Bubbe will say "Now Christopher, you know what that will do your swim times. Oy!" So I remove my hand as if it had been slapped.

Honestly though, I do not like my Bubbe. I feel like food regardless of health should never make you feel guilty. Food is not inherently guilty or virtuous. It is we who assign these labels--labels that are completely subjective and arbitrary. As a side note, foods labeled as guilt free are already guilt free (ironically, it are these food that are labeled that we should be most careful of).

As we head into the Thanksgiving Holiday, I am trying to silence my Bubbe even though she is "family." If I eat something(s) that I know are not the greatest for me then that will be alright. I should not ruminate upon them but rather savor them. If I decide to refrain from eating something it will not be because my Bubbe told me not to or because of guilt but rather because it does not make me feel optimal. And on Thanksgiving, I want to be optimal since that feeling is something to be thankful for...but that's just my two watts.

We are going to pump you up!

As I mentioned before in a previous post, this pre-season (a better name than off season), I am focusing a lot of time and energy on strength. Whether it is doing butterfly in the pool (I look more like I am twerking), doing hill repeats on the bike, or starting to trail run, my schedule emphasizes gaining muscle and making body and mind strong (insert: like bull).

Got a little too wild and crazy at a party...

This focus is essential for a good season next year. With my runner's build, it is hard for me to keep up with the big boys on the bike and my races suffer because of it. While I can put out a 4.0 watt/kg HIM race output, it is only a 240 watts compared to everyone else who can do much much more. Consequently, I have been proverbially hitting the weights to improve this deficit.

Going to the weight room is a little intimidating to be honest. At my gym in "Snottsdale," there are athlete whose biceps are the size of my waist. I walked past one person yesterday who had my body weight just on one side of bar. There are women whose diamond rings may weigh more than the dumbbell. Some are made of more plastic than the Barbie Doll that they are trying to look like. There are the high school athletes with full beards. Then there is little pipe arm me feeling like a mix between Spongebob:

  

And Homer Simpson: 

I have always enjoyed weight lifting in the past. I find it an awesome switch up from my normal swim/bike/run routine. It has also been a struggle for me mentally to do because of a deep dark, still ingrained fear that I am going to gain weight. 

Then I had one of those "Duoh! What have I been thinking? Of course!" moments this past week. As I stepped on the scale, it occurred to me that I actually want my weight to go up. Say WHAT?! Yep you read correctly: up. 

My "Health" score compliments of my gym

If the number on the scale goes down then that means my body is

sacrificing muscle. I am so lean right now at 3% body fat that any significant decrease on the scale most likely is a canniblization of muscle, the exact opposite of what I want. I have hit rock bottom or to paraphrase Drake, I am starting from the bottom and hopefully will get there.  

Talk about a 180 degree reversal of thinking! 

I am still struggling with my fear that if the number does go up then my run will suffer. My run has always been my strength  but will it continue to be, if I gain 10 more muscle mass like I am supposed to?

Since September of last year I have gained 10 lbs of muscle going from 125 to 135, and while I have not really improved per se in my races, I would say I am healthier and happier overall. I am recovering better from workouts, am sick less often, and most likely have better thyroid function.  

The only way to know though is to take the leap and hope for the best. Looking at the "data" out in the real world, there are plenty of triathletes who have raced 2:50 Ironman marathon splits while being 140-160 lbs but not many that are 135 except some select women.

Just because I am weight lifting does not mean that I am going to look like the 'roided up guys around me. Strength is not about size it is about how many neurons connected to your muscles can be recruited and utilized multiple times with the same force over the course of (hopefully in my case next year) 9 hours and 30 minutes or less. It is also about holding your form over the course of training without breaking down and keeping you injury free all season long...but that is just my two watts.

What are your thoughts? Do you follow a specific lifting/strength program? Has it helped? If so how? Leave your thoughts and comments bellow, I would love to hear them.

The F word

I have a confession: sometimes when I walk down the street, shop at the grocery store, or am biking around Phoenix and I see a person who is obviously overweight, I immediately think to myself: "Wow, that person is F-A-T!" I am ashamed to admit it even if that person really is overweight. 

Should we call these people out on their weight? What should we think about them? Should we judge them and say: "Why can't they just loose weight?" If we see them in the grocery store and judge them for what they put into their cart. "You really should not be eating those chips or drinking that cola." Maybe we should go up to them and say "You should really lose some weight" or give them diet advice. Even if we do not say it, are thoughts just as bad as actions? 

As a person who was teased for the majority of his elementary school and all of his middle school years for being fat, I feel ashamed to think the same thoughts that my bullies thought when they saw me. 

The thing that bothers me with these thoughts are that they are so automatic for me and society in general. Pictures of fat people on Facebook continue to pop up, and the reaction is usually mixed.  For example, back in the summer, the above picture of a man falling off his automatic scooter as he reaches for a pack of soda made the rounds on Facebook and the inter webs. 

Comments were all over the place from "What a loser" to "What has America become" to "He[?] is so pathetic" and finally "Why doesn't he lose some f-ing weight!"

Honestly I did not know what to think when I saw this picture. My emotions were mixed and torn between "Wow, I am glad I am not like that" to "I hope he is alright." 

I thought about my reaction to these situations and I realized why they occur. For me, I think that they pop up so automatically because seeing those pictures or people makes me feel insecure about myself. I am still afraid of becoming like that or like them, that I put up this wall of humor and ridicule to separate myself from that pain as much as possible. I create an illusionary "self." They are different from me; I am somehow better than they are. Both of these statements are obviously not true.

They suffer just like I do. They have feelings just like I do, so instead of seeing their differences, I should greet them with compassion and an open heart. That is all I can do to help them. Criticizing whether in my own mind or to their face does nothing but build walls between me and them and inflates an artificial ego.  

My initial reaction of disgust is not the problem until I begin to nurse and entertain these thoughts further instead of simply letting them go. Hopefully in time and with mindful practice, I will eliminate my own fears of being overweight and with them, these thoughts. Then, I can remove at least that F word from my vocabulary. The other f word is entirely fair game though...but thats just my two watts. 

I would love to hear your comments on this, so message me, leave them on facebook, twitter, or below. 

Putting Life into Living

One of my favorite podcasts is Vinnie Tortorich's "The Angriest Trainer Podcast." Whether you are low carb/ high fat, No Sugar, No Grains (NSNG), vegan, vegan curious, fruitarian, or a flexitarian, this podcast is worth a listen. In addition to some great Rocky quotes, I  always get at least one bit of interesting info (either health related or something completely different) and of course a good laugh. While Vinnie touts the importance of a NSNG diet, he frequently uses his tag line "put life into living and do it with enthusiasm." Many interpret this as that it is alright to sometimes break the NSNG (or dietary) "restrictions"*** and have a treat for a special occasion like a birthday party or celebration. After all, to quote Vinnie once more

"It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years. It is what you eat between New Years and Christmas."

Bottoms up and lights out

I am not sure if I take this interpretation though. I put life into living in a different way. Yes, food and libations enrich life and experiences, but they can also take away.
 For example, if I am at a bar or party and I have a drink, I am out for the night. Some people get happy when they drink, others get touchy-feely, and others get mad. I am what they call a tired drunk. A few sips and I need to go to bed. Needless to say, I have the tolerance of a high school cheerleader on Prozac; even Diet Coke gives me a buzz. If I put life into living with a drink, consequently, I actually enjoy life less than if I had refrained and stuck with my typical lifestyle. These moments of life into living set me back so much they are not worth having.

In the same way, if I have a piece of candy, a soy latte, or sweets, I feel disgusting afterwards.It may taste good for five seconds, but for the next five hours, Willy Wonka gets his revenge ("Augustus leave some for later"). I am craving those sweets long after the enjoyment has worn off. It's all that I can think about. Then I get really cranky, tired, and hungry--hungry enough to even go dumpster diving. I pretty much turn into Oscar the Grouch.  Is that living? No.

Indulgent food and drink are enjoyable. They taste good, they make us feel good, and we do not get called out at parties for being the odd ball who orders soda water and raw vegetables. In my opinion though (this phrase is critical because everyone is different),  the social event would be more enjoyable for the experience itself and the memory rather than the food or drink. 20 years from now I will remember having a blast, but chances are I will not remember what I ate or drank.


I put life into living by putting my energy into the experience itself and enjoying every single moment with a clear mind and not one that is in a brain fog from what I have eaten or drunk. Moreover, I enjoy living by having a clear memory of what has happened and no guilt, remorse, or regrets about what I did. Some (bless them) can still have a great time despite having drunken lots or eaten lots; their lives continue as normal if not better. Unfortunately, I am not one of them, but that is alright.


One of the problems and indicators of an eating disorder is avoiding social situations because of the fear of food or eating in public. I did this all the time. I would feign sickness to avoid parties where I would not be able to control the food being served. When people would ask me out for dinner and I did not know what was going to be on the menu I would stay home and "enjoy"  a calorie restricted meal (emmmm lean pockets) instead. Hardly what I call living. Now I jump on the opportunity to go out regardless of what food is there; food should and will not dictate whether I go out or not. What crosses my mind instead is "will this be a fun time?" If there is food that I want to eat there then I will eat it but that is not the main focus. I may eat before I go out or bring my own, so that it does not become an issue and I can enjoy myself to the fullest.

Creating those experiences is what I call living and I am going to do it with enthusiasm....but that's just my two watts.

How do you put life into living? 

***(I am not big on this word because as I mentioned in my previous post, my changes in diet have liberated me from the restrictions of fatigue, brain fog, and cravings)